Enjoy our tongue-in-cheek look at the Ryman League Division One South…
1: Every pre-season a manager will declare that he thinks Division One South is tougher this year than last.
2: He will probably add that "every team can beat every other team in this league". Apart from Burgess Hill Town, evidently.
3: South Park only sign scaffolders.
4: Chipstead's High Road is the coldest place in England on a Tuesday night.
5: Tony Reid's real age is a mystery that may never be answered.
6: Folkestone Invicta fans are still asking 'who is Eddie Poland?'
7: New Herne Bay signing Danny Spiller likes Herbalife. A lot.
8: Whyteleafe prefer away games.
9: Finishing in the bottom three doesn't necessarily mean you'll be relegated.
10: If you want to speak to the Faversham Town manager, dial 999 and ask for Ray [disclaimer – don't actually do this]
11: Don't ask Chipstead striker Andrew Dalhouse to run the line
12: If you're going to get sent off, do it at Three Bridges - you can watch from your car.
13: Half of Neil Cugley's current Folkestone squad weren't born when he took the job.
14: Floodlight failure? Must be Walton Casuals.
15: No one looks forward to a trip to Ramsgate.
16: No away player finds the Merstham clubhouse on the first attempt.
17: Don't call Whitstable's Ian Pulman a 'veteran striker'.
18: Three Bridges manager Paul Faili isn't as fun since they got promoted.
19: Be nice to Hythe Town boss Tim Dixon, he'll buy you a beer.
20: You'll be lucky to find a Redhill player from Surrey, never mind Redhill.
21: It's quicker to name the Ryman clubs Ashley Robinson/Stefan Joseph/Shaun Welford hasn't played for.
